Wave of Calm

As we were sitting in bed last night, as we are apt to do, Abby let me know that the righty was moving and I could feel if I wanted. After I explained that girls had cooties, and that she was technically 3 girls right now; I impressed upon her that she was a walking talking ticking cootie time-bomb. Then, I remembered that I love her and girls have soft skin as well as smell good. End result: I felt the babies moving. They're less like distinct punches anymore, and more like the feeling of a garbage bag filled with Kielbasa lengths and a really hungry Slavic little person. There's things being pressed against the walls. Do you know what it is? No. Are you Curious? Of course. Is it adorable? Debatable, depending on the facial hair of the little person.

Anyhow, we're realizing that the girls react and wake up to certain stimuli.
-Pretty much anything the dogs do.
The dogs will bark, squeal, squeek toys, growl, or pass gas. Whatever it is, the babies start freaking out.

-Abby gets angry at me
Whenever I do something to get her ire up, the little ones start try go all "Berlin Wall" on her cervix. I like to think of her womb as East Berlin.





"Hey, Mommy, leave my dad alone"






Admittedly, there's a very good chance I did something wrong, and I'm sorry. But, I can tell when She's gettign grumpy, because she starts to ripple around the edges.

-She lays on her side
Whoever's on the bottom protests the way you should react at the bottom of a pig pile. You laugh, then you say, "Ok, that's enough." Then you get tired of being crushed and start flailing around like an epileptic baboon.





Or a college student.






-Mommy is hungry
Those kids bang their fists on the table harder and more incessantly than the whiny kids from Newsies. Or Little Orphan Annie. I can't remember, but when they're hungry, they go ballistic. Stomping on bladders, poking lungs, breaking ribs; if you had these kids over for dinner, your fine china would be gone becasue they ate right through it and started in on your fiberboard Ikean dinner table, Ėngo.