I'll walk you through my average day:
6:20 - Alarm clock goes off
6:29 - Snooze expires
6:32 - stop staring at ceiling, and actually get out of bed, head to shower
6:43 - Finish showering, dress from basket of clean clothes. (folding laundry is a frivolity I have been glad to be rid of)
6:44-7:05 - Feed the dogs, Cook breakfast, bring breakfast in bed to Abby, try to get her latte done, take out the dogs, pick up non-human poop
7:06 - Bring up laundry, be told it's not dry enough, return laundry to dryer
7:08 - Transfer awake babies from cribs to the loving arms of female guardian
7:10 - Brush teeth, Floss
7:12 - Try to pack leftovers for lunch. We're out of leftovers. Shit. Grab an apple and a handful of banana chips.
7:13-7:15 - match socks and apply socks to feet
7:16-7:25 - Wash used bottles from the night before
7:26 - Kiss girls goodbye, wave to Sissy, and depart
7:28-7:49 - Listen to miserable morning drive time radio. Imagine what I'd do if I won a call in contest.
7:50 - Decide I don't have the time to go to a "free concert" and it's probably better "Greg from Tacoma" won.
7:55 - get to my desk and boot up the computer.
8:00 - Panic at crisis that arose while I was away.
8:01 - Solve all problems. Like a Boss.
8:15 - Have a cup of coffee; grimace.
8:20-12:30PM - Do all the work.
12:31-1:00 - Eat a desk sandwich, chased by a delightful apple, and some banana chips.
1:01-4:30 - Resume all-the-work-doing.
4:35 - Head home to my babies.
4:36-5:05 - Listen to slightly better drive time radio. Become enraged over lack of talk during commute and abundance of commercials across all dial settings.
5:06 - Pull in to the driveway
5:07 - hear Dog#2 slam himself, body and soul, into the door. Repeatedly.
5:07:15 - Come inside to smiles from everyone
5:08 - take dogs out, play 5 minutes of iphone games
5:15 - come back inside, pick up a baby, kiss it, set it back down. Avoid changing any diapers. If one is dirty, pretend not to notice.
5:20 - start cooking dinner, clean as I go... to a limited degree
6:30 - finish cooking, plate up gourmet entree.
6:31 - Open beer. Take sip.
6:32 - sit down to eat, pause repeatedly to prevent dog from putting mouth on baby, and vise versa
6:45 - Finish eating, take second sip of beer.
6:46 - start doing dishes while Abby and jenny watch the girls
6:55 - Dinner time for babies! Solid food, presented by either Daddy or Mommy. Non-feeder cleans dishes.
7:10 - Split duties again; One person cleans babies and preps for bath time, the other washes bottles.
7:20 - Bath Time for babies!
7:21-7:45 - Wash food, grime, etc. from baby skin-folds and surfaces. Short bath play time allotted, based on cooperation of non-bathing baby.
7:46-8:30 - Feed the younguns, and put them down to sleep
8:31 - Harlot falls blissfully asleep
8:40 - get frustrated with Juggla and put her down, despite being awake and very smiley.
8:50 - Juggla's crying transitions to meaningless yelling
8:55 - Juggla's Meaningless yelling transitions to silly noises
9:00 - Juggla's Silly Noises transitions to moaning
9:10 - Juggla is asleep
9:15 - She stirs, and yells for a couple minutes again, then falls back asleep
9:20-10:30 - Blissful personal time. Perforated by stirring, and possibly crying.
10:31-1:30 - Sleep
1:31 - Feed Baby #1
1:46 - Go back to room to sleep
1:55 - Baby #2 wakens, shake Abby, groan "Your Turn"
1:55:15 - Fall back asleep
2:00-3:39 - Sleep
3:40 - Baby #1 or #2 wakes again, feed it.
3:50 - Other baby decides it's time to guzzle some mommy juice. Feed it too.
4:45 - Realize I passed out in the rocker, set the relevant baby down to sleep.
4:46 - hope she doesn't stir.
4:47 - I think we're good.
4:48 - she groans, I hear movement. But no escalation of tears.
4:50-6:20 - Sleep
For those of you playing along at home, that's 6:09 of sleep each night. Not too shabby.
Repeat.
I'll try to take a few of my blissful moments of introspection to update more consistently; but know that if you don't see anything, I probably have 4-5 unfinished entries that I intended to go back and finish.
